Yesterday I had horrible sinus pain…so I broke down & asked my mum for something…
…she brought me a pill, which I assumed was some kind of decongestant from the drugstore. I didn’t question it…I mean, she’s my mum…I can trust her, right?
Well, 4 or so hours later I’m still in pain & tell her so…she went to see if I could take another…
Long story short, turns out that the earlier pill was NOT a decongestant after all…the woman gave me a water pill thinking it was a decongestant.
Moral: don’t trust my mother…especially when she’s not wearing her glasses.
Tonight my mother made the MOST kick ass cat head biscuits I have EVER eaten…
…and when I was weeping with joy at the fluffy, hot, buttery goodness…
…she turned to me and said, “I’ll teach you my recipe, you know, so you have at least one culinary skill”…
HEY! I know how to mix drinks, does that count?
*For those wondering what the HELL a cat head biscuit is (I was wondering the same thing when I heard it called that)…it’s just a really freakin’ HUGE American Biscuit. They are supposed to be as ‘big as a cat’s head’…these were bigger than Aslan’s head and like biting into heaven.
Source: bustyzombiehookersfromspace
Texting my mum is never a good idea….& not just because she is oblivious to autocorrect
Me reading an ad for a face cream
- Me: I want to look 10 years younger.
- Mom: Then you'd look 13
IT'S LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME...
- Mum: There ARE things in the woods that aren't entirely safe.
- Ben: Bobcats.
- Mum: Vampires.
- Ben: Republicans.
DEAR OL' MUM
- Me: (reading from an article in the New Yorker, and I'm NOT pleased with the person who wrote the article) Internet critics deride Gaiman's fans as "Twee 'Bisexual' Goth Girls with BPD"-Borderline personality disorder-"who are drama majors and who are destined to become cat ladies"
- Mum: Yeah, that sounds like you.
- Me: *smacks her with the magazine*
It was All Hallows Eve
- Me: Who wants to go out back and dance in the moonlight?
- Mum: Naked?
- Me: Uh...nooooooooooooo.
- Mum: Then I'm not going.
