- Me: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
- Ben: HAPPY UNBIRTHDAY!!
Q:Just finished reading the rest of SD. You & your bothers are comedy gold. I think you tweeted a while back about your own reality show & I totally agree! A producer needs to sign you as the star of a sexy/scifi/writer/southern-style reality series with your brothers as costars. Funnier & infinitely more intelligent than Buckwild, jersey shore & the other crap out there.
Thanks! My baby brother, Ben, is the real comedian though. He’s the only consistently funny one!
Ruby, men only think about 3 things:
Food, money, & sex.
They think, ‘I want a sandwich. Who can I get to get me a sandwich?’…or ‘I want sex. Who can I get to give it to me?’
My Mother. I need therapy now.
A DRAGON DOES NOT DO SPREADSHEETS!
Me, refusing to believe I’m not Daenerys Targaryen
- Me: Take me to the grocery store, I need something to drink.
- Ben: And by 'grocery store' she means liquor store. See, I speak Ruby.
You make me want to set myself on fire.
Me to the guy covered in Axe at a bar
- Josh: [re: Flight] The 1st thing you see is this blurry, out of focus boob.
- Me: Yeah, that's the 1st thing I see every morning.
Is it safe for you to be operating a sandwich?
Ben re: me being drunk & emotional while making a grilled cheese sandwich.
- Ben: Oh wait, the SyFy channel doesn't do Sci-Fi anymore.
- Me: Unless it's Anaconda vs Velociraptors in Space.
We like our pizza the way we like our wookies. Chewie.
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